Mystery Pinot Noir Russian River Valley 2021

Let the MYSTERY commence! 99+ POINTS, good people! The miraculous 2021 vintage, from one of the greatest to ever make Pinot Noir in California, and a new(-ish), absolutely cult-worthy and highly-coveted bottling from the top sites in the Russian River Valley!!! 

You are not, cannot, shall not be READY for this simply EPIC mystery! The greatest Pinot Noir mystery deal in Last Bottle history? I’d say so! Normally priced like Grand Cru Burgundy (and you’d better be on the list!) but today, for however many MINUTES this lasts — ONLY $79!!! Can you even imagine?!?! That’s like…way, way over 65% off! Ok, let’s do this…and while I’d normally just toss out a few snippets of heavily redacted quotes to raise the stakes a bit — A.I has absolutely ruined that possibility. 

So we’re getting EXTRA obscure here — and essentially, if you waste precious seconds trying to beat my evil genius riddlings and unravel this guarded and elusive mystery — you’ll severely risk missing out on the utterly compelling wine that could be yours at an ALL-TIME banger of a price! So choose wisely, friends — ‘cause I sure wouldn’t want to miss this!!!

• A coterie of performers and the scent of excitement— all that’s missing from the equation is us!
• “Trust me, they don’t know it yet, but they’re going to love you.”
• My brother works for UPS. I like his uniforms.
• Old-school banknotes

 

Ok, GAUNTLET thrown, you A.I.-addicted cheaters! That’s ALL you get! For the rest of y’all, here’s what it tastes like, and here’s why you are gonna BACKFLIP when a few bottles arrive on your doorstep. It’s GORGEOUSLY FLORAL. Like distilled essence of roses, violets, lavender, and peonies, with a dash of hibiscus, too. Absolutely dense, and gloriously concentrated — but without any heavy sappiness somehow. The fruits are soft, and supple notes of cherries and raspberries, with strawberry rhubarb pie, and even more cherries. The spices enrobe the fruits but never dominate — just perfectly judged accents of cinnamon, and cedar, with some roasted Herbs de Provence bundles…you know, the really fancy ones you get at the farmers market. The finish is bold, silky as a spider’s web, and ENDURING! Wowza…this is intense! Sooooo good, but even more potential to impress over the decade to come — I’d suggest you treat this like prized Grand Cru Burgundy, ‘cause in California terms…that is exactly what you’re getting here. Well-pedigreed, impeccably made, highly allocated Pinot Noir for a fraction of the regular price...don’t miss out on what may well go down as one of the GREATEST Mystery Wines EVER!!!

While it lasts!